Don't worry, I'm not done - not this soon!
I've been thinking, brainstorming, and jotting notes down on things I want to talk about, but simply haven't had the time to write about it in depth, just yet.
I've really been pondering the power differential which resides in the concept of "consent" in male-female sexual situations, though, and this is what I think I will be writing about next. If you have any thoughts on the matter, feel free to post them here. Basically, what I will be addressing is the problematic nature of our reliance upon the word "consent", because it implies a giver, and a receiver... and also becomes the only imperative by which we judge something as "rape" or not.
A very basic outline for a very complex subject, I know. Hopefully none of the above will be misinterpreted, because I'm still brainstorming right now.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Saturday, April 5, 2008
The Marginalization of Rape
As a woman, I am especially attuned to matters of gender-related violence, particularly sexual violence. Back when I had a television, it seemed to be a common enough reality for me - both as a young child and as a young girl - that violence against women was in many ways a status quo.
It was a matter of simple understanding and acceptance for me that a woman might be abducted, raped, and killed, and that her femaleness meant she was much more likely to have this happen to her than to another person who was male. I considered it a normal enough aspect of my life, really: the consideration I might walk down the street someday and be attacked; the idea that might be harmed in a particular way because I was female; this daily fear and terror which lingered within me but was awakened in a flash any time the news sensationalized that another person had disappeared - and she was a woman.
Rarely were there cases on the news where boys or men were the subjects of sexual violence. That is not to dismiss such incidences as less important - my point is simply that this is what shaped the reality of my world. And so, my understanding of "how things work" came to be shaped by the knowledge that I, as a woman, am subject to the danger against my person that I might be raped. In fact, it became one of my greatest fears.
At the time, though, I never thought to ask why the world worked in this way. Have you ever sat down and really thought about it? Have you ever truly confronted and questioned in your mind why we fail to question this reality in which women are accepted as the victims of gender and relationship violence? Why is rape perpetrated against women more often than men? Why are women subject to this kind of violence? Why is this okay? Why aren't we doing something about it?
These questions only begin to touch on the surface of the extent to which gender violence - especially rape - is marginalized in society, merely through the acceptance of it as standard. We are so exposed to it - so accustomed to women on the news being the subjects of such viciousness - that we do not question the whys and the hows. And I want to! I want to understand WHY this burden of fear falls on my shoulders.
This also leads me to ask why the burden of rape falls on women's shoulders.
So, let's talk about the movie 300. Do you remember the rape scene in 300?
Did you know that there was a rape scene in 300?
In it, Theron, a senator of Sparta, implies to Gorgo that unless she submits to him sexually, he will not convince the Senate to send reinforcements to her husband, the King. In effect, his threat is that he will allow her husband to die if she does not have sex with him.
Then, he says, "This will not be over quickly. You will not enjoy this. I'm not your King."
The Queen then has a pained, tortured look on her face, and the scene cuts away.
If that is not a forcible act of sexual violence, then what is? If that is not rape by coercion, then what is? How can anyone draw a line and say, "Oh, that's okay, she agreed because he was going to allow her husband to die and so she consented to sex with him."
If you didn't realize this was rape, chances are you are not the only person to think so. In fact, a search for the keywords 300 and rape brings up a total of two search results which were relevant - a piece on a website about heroines which discusses the matter, and a forum post on an RPG blog in which a user asks, "Er, did I miss the rape scene in 300?"
---
So, what is rape? When do we call it that?
From the Merriam-Webster online dictionary, rape as a noun is defined as:
1 : an act or instance of robbing or despoiling or carrying away a person by force
2 : unlawful sexual activity and usually sexual intercourse carried out forcibly or under threat of injury against the will usually of a female or with a person who is beneath a certain age or incapable of valid consent
As you can see, both of the above definitions involve the use of the word "force" - let's explore what "forcibly" or "under threat of injury" means.
Does force require physical force, or are there mental ways of applying force? I assert that rape does not just require physical force, but also may involve:
- Using psychological force, or threat of force, including extortion, such as the withholding of political, economic, social, or other power, resources, or materials
- Psychological force includes repeatedly asking for consent or threatening until consent is obtained. This is a tortuous act which consists of psychologically hammering away at another individual until extremely tenuous "consent" is extorted.
- Using sex as a bargaining tool - especially when the individual performing the sexual act has no other means to obtain the goods or resources being bargained for - is extortion, and therefore force
- A husband or a wife using their marital status to extort sex from their spouse. Just because two individuals are married, the necessity for consent is not erased. (The same goes for platonic or romantic, nonmarried individuals. Any use of relationship status to gain sex is extortion.)
Consent is:
- Articulated, clear, and given without extortion or coercion
- Not read from body language, but from an actual, direct communication of consent
Furthermore, if a person decides that they do not want to be having sex at any point during the actual act of sex - for whatever reason - then it is the other person's responsibility to respect and honor this - and stop. To do otherwise is to be having sex with an unwilling person, and therefore to be raping them.
Even if you do not agree with all of the above statements, if you return to the Merriam-Webster definition of rape, and our definition of what "forcibly" means - mental, psychological, or physical force, then what happens in the movie 300 is surely rape.
After all, if extorting money from a person is considered an act of stealing, then how is extorting sex from an individual not an act of "robbing" - and therefore forcing - a person to have sex with you? Why does society marginalize rape to the point where forcing someone to have sex with you - regardless of the means for this force - is not just that?
If someone threatens to kill you unless you have sex with them, is that rape? What if they threaten to kill a loved one? A friend? What if they threaten to not give you a Passport, or Immigration Papers, or money, or help - not unless you have sex with them?
The fact of the matter is, if you do not want to do it - if you are being forced to have sex with someone, it is against your will, even if you say "yes".
From a standpoint of what is "right" and what is "wrong" - the person extorting sex from you is effectively victimizing you, even if you do say "yes" or give your "consent" in the end.
---
In American society today, there is a misconception that rape is none of the above things. Rape, in America, occurs when a woman walks down a street and a man grabs her, pulls her into an alley, and forces her to have sex with him. Rape, in our society, does not occur among people you know; it is not often talked about, except on the news; it is something which is both common and rare at the same time.
Rape, in our world, does not occur over money, or shelter. It is not perpetrated by a wife or a husband. It happens to some people - but no one you know. There is a widespread sense that rape happens to everyone - and to no one - and, furthermore, when it does happen there is such an overwhelming sense of shame and stigma associated with it that the victim does not report the crime. Statistically speaking, all too often rape does not "happen" at all - even when it does.
A search for 300 movie rape brings up several more pages than the earlier search. With regard to this search and the rape scene in 300, I found the following quotes from various users on the internet:
"The rape scene was nothing graphic, you just know that she was gonna get some."
"it wasn't a rape scene... she had to give something to get something and ironically still got screwed (in the other sense of the word) in the end."
"The sex scenes include a loving couple and not a rape scene as K suggests, but a woman giving herself to a man in exchange for something. It wasn't done against her will. "
"There's a suggested rape scene, but the characters are still fully clothed, and the scene cuts before it gets any worse."
Of all of these statements, though, the one that strikes me the most was something I overheard a man remark to his friend as he emerged from the theater following the screening of 300:
"Man, can you believe that Gorgo? What a slut."
And that, everyone, is our world today.
It was a matter of simple understanding and acceptance for me that a woman might be abducted, raped, and killed, and that her femaleness meant she was much more likely to have this happen to her than to another person who was male. I considered it a normal enough aspect of my life, really: the consideration I might walk down the street someday and be attacked; the idea that might be harmed in a particular way because I was female; this daily fear and terror which lingered within me but was awakened in a flash any time the news sensationalized that another person had disappeared - and she was a woman.
Rarely were there cases on the news where boys or men were the subjects of sexual violence. That is not to dismiss such incidences as less important - my point is simply that this is what shaped the reality of my world. And so, my understanding of "how things work" came to be shaped by the knowledge that I, as a woman, am subject to the danger against my person that I might be raped. In fact, it became one of my greatest fears.
At the time, though, I never thought to ask why the world worked in this way. Have you ever sat down and really thought about it? Have you ever truly confronted and questioned in your mind why we fail to question this reality in which women are accepted as the victims of gender and relationship violence? Why is rape perpetrated against women more often than men? Why are women subject to this kind of violence? Why is this okay? Why aren't we doing something about it?
These questions only begin to touch on the surface of the extent to which gender violence - especially rape - is marginalized in society, merely through the acceptance of it as standard. We are so exposed to it - so accustomed to women on the news being the subjects of such viciousness - that we do not question the whys and the hows. And I want to! I want to understand WHY this burden of fear falls on my shoulders.
This also leads me to ask why the burden of rape falls on women's shoulders.
So, let's talk about the movie 300. Do you remember the rape scene in 300?
Did you know that there was a rape scene in 300?
In it, Theron, a senator of Sparta, implies to Gorgo that unless she submits to him sexually, he will not convince the Senate to send reinforcements to her husband, the King. In effect, his threat is that he will allow her husband to die if she does not have sex with him.
Then, he says, "This will not be over quickly. You will not enjoy this. I'm not your King."
The Queen then has a pained, tortured look on her face, and the scene cuts away.
If that is not a forcible act of sexual violence, then what is? If that is not rape by coercion, then what is? How can anyone draw a line and say, "Oh, that's okay, she agreed because he was going to allow her husband to die and so she consented to sex with him."
If you didn't realize this was rape, chances are you are not the only person to think so. In fact, a search for the keywords 300 and rape brings up a total of two search results which were relevant - a piece on a website about heroines which discusses the matter, and a forum post on an RPG blog in which a user asks, "Er, did I miss the rape scene in 300?"
---
So, what is rape? When do we call it that?
From the Merriam-Webster online dictionary, rape as a noun is defined as:
1 : an act or instance of robbing or despoiling or carrying away a person by force
2 : unlawful sexual activity and usually sexual intercourse carried out forcibly or under threat of injury against the will usually of a female or with a person who is beneath a certain age or incapable of valid consent
As you can see, both of the above definitions involve the use of the word "force" - let's explore what "forcibly" or "under threat of injury" means.
Does force require physical force, or are there mental ways of applying force? I assert that rape does not just require physical force, but also may involve:
- Using psychological force, or threat of force, including extortion, such as the withholding of political, economic, social, or other power, resources, or materials
- Psychological force includes repeatedly asking for consent or threatening until consent is obtained. This is a tortuous act which consists of psychologically hammering away at another individual until extremely tenuous "consent" is extorted.
- Using sex as a bargaining tool - especially when the individual performing the sexual act has no other means to obtain the goods or resources being bargained for - is extortion, and therefore force
- A husband or a wife using their marital status to extort sex from their spouse. Just because two individuals are married, the necessity for consent is not erased. (The same goes for platonic or romantic, nonmarried individuals. Any use of relationship status to gain sex is extortion.)
Consent is:
- Articulated, clear, and given without extortion or coercion
- Not read from body language, but from an actual, direct communication of consent
Furthermore, if a person decides that they do not want to be having sex at any point during the actual act of sex - for whatever reason - then it is the other person's responsibility to respect and honor this - and stop. To do otherwise is to be having sex with an unwilling person, and therefore to be raping them.
Even if you do not agree with all of the above statements, if you return to the Merriam-Webster definition of rape, and our definition of what "forcibly" means - mental, psychological, or physical force, then what happens in the movie 300 is surely rape.
After all, if extorting money from a person is considered an act of stealing, then how is extorting sex from an individual not an act of "robbing" - and therefore forcing - a person to have sex with you? Why does society marginalize rape to the point where forcing someone to have sex with you - regardless of the means for this force - is not just that?
If someone threatens to kill you unless you have sex with them, is that rape? What if they threaten to kill a loved one? A friend? What if they threaten to not give you a Passport, or Immigration Papers, or money, or help - not unless you have sex with them?
The fact of the matter is, if you do not want to do it - if you are being forced to have sex with someone, it is against your will, even if you say "yes".
From a standpoint of what is "right" and what is "wrong" - the person extorting sex from you is effectively victimizing you, even if you do say "yes" or give your "consent" in the end.
---
In American society today, there is a misconception that rape is none of the above things. Rape, in America, occurs when a woman walks down a street and a man grabs her, pulls her into an alley, and forces her to have sex with him. Rape, in our society, does not occur among people you know; it is not often talked about, except on the news; it is something which is both common and rare at the same time.
Rape, in our world, does not occur over money, or shelter. It is not perpetrated by a wife or a husband. It happens to some people - but no one you know. There is a widespread sense that rape happens to everyone - and to no one - and, furthermore, when it does happen there is such an overwhelming sense of shame and stigma associated with it that the victim does not report the crime. Statistically speaking, all too often rape does not "happen" at all - even when it does.
A search for 300 movie rape brings up several more pages than the earlier search. With regard to this search and the rape scene in 300, I found the following quotes from various users on the internet:
"The rape scene was nothing graphic, you just know that she was gonna get some."
"it wasn't a rape scene... she had to give something to get something and ironically still got screwed (in the other sense of the word) in the end."
"The sex scenes include a loving couple and not a rape scene as K suggests, but a woman giving herself to a man in exchange for something. It wasn't done against her will. "
"There's a suggested rape scene, but the characters are still fully clothed, and the scene cuts before it gets any worse."
Of all of these statements, though, the one that strikes me the most was something I overheard a man remark to his friend as he emerged from the theater following the screening of 300:
"Man, can you believe that Gorgo? What a slut."
And that, everyone, is our world today.
Purpose and Ideas
So now that this place has a name, it needs a purpose - some sort of context to give both you, the readers, and me, the author, an idea of where this is headed.
My reasons for starting a blog are simple: I have ideas, and I want to put them somewhere. There is something cathartic about expressing oneself in writing, and there are many thoughts, concepts, ideas, and questions which I have had intermingling themselves in my head for so long that I want to put them out somewhere - anywhere.
I realize this does not make me unique among bloggers; anyone out there could likely say the same for themselves. But I'm not really here to discuss the uniqueness or lack thereof of my desire for expression - as I mentioned below, this is much to my benefit as I hope it is to others'. It is my hope to create a forum, a thoughtstream, somewhere where I may articulate, hone, and echo my ideas into the internet, even if it does not echo anything back.
So what do I have to offer as far as discussion goes? A good many things, I would hope: I really want to discuss all manner of social matters as they pertain to gender, sexuality, sexual orientation, race, reproduction, and many other things beside. I want to explore why whys and whats of us - I want to address issues in all of these categories which I see marginalized by mainstream media on a daily basis.
Yes, I want to talk about gender issues, and, yes, I consider myself a feminist - it is my hope that these mere words alone, void of context which I have yet to provide, will not drive a potential reader away. The fact of the matter is, these words can be many things to many different people - there are different "languages of gender" and of feminism. I want to address social issues from this perspective, but, by the very virtue of the fact that I want this to be a forum, I also want to explore perspectives beyond my own.
There are so many current events which are pertinent to these topics – and to my personal beliefs and ideas about how the world works, as well – which are never even touched upon by most modes of modern media. Blogs, especially feminist blogs, may touch upon these issues to some degree, but they are a rather fragmented section of media that doesn’t receive general exposure. To that effect, I’m not sure that anything I write won’t be categorized in the same way, but I can certainly try.
Some ideas and topics that I would like to explore in the future include:
My reasons for starting a blog are simple: I have ideas, and I want to put them somewhere. There is something cathartic about expressing oneself in writing, and there are many thoughts, concepts, ideas, and questions which I have had intermingling themselves in my head for so long that I want to put them out somewhere - anywhere.
I realize this does not make me unique among bloggers; anyone out there could likely say the same for themselves. But I'm not really here to discuss the uniqueness or lack thereof of my desire for expression - as I mentioned below, this is much to my benefit as I hope it is to others'. It is my hope to create a forum, a thoughtstream, somewhere where I may articulate, hone, and echo my ideas into the internet, even if it does not echo anything back.
So what do I have to offer as far as discussion goes? A good many things, I would hope: I really want to discuss all manner of social matters as they pertain to gender, sexuality, sexual orientation, race, reproduction, and many other things beside. I want to explore why whys and whats of us - I want to address issues in all of these categories which I see marginalized by mainstream media on a daily basis.
Yes, I want to talk about gender issues, and, yes, I consider myself a feminist - it is my hope that these mere words alone, void of context which I have yet to provide, will not drive a potential reader away. The fact of the matter is, these words can be many things to many different people - there are different "languages of gender" and of feminism. I want to address social issues from this perspective, but, by the very virtue of the fact that I want this to be a forum, I also want to explore perspectives beyond my own.
There are so many current events which are pertinent to these topics – and to my personal beliefs and ideas about how the world works, as well – which are never even touched upon by most modes of modern media. Blogs, especially feminist blogs, may touch upon these issues to some degree, but they are a rather fragmented section of media that doesn’t receive general exposure. To that effect, I’m not sure that anything I write won’t be categorized in the same way, but I can certainly try.
Some ideas and topics that I would like to explore in the future include:
- Gender: What is gender? Is it different than physical sex? If so, how? How is gender given meaningfulness? What determines the particular "gendering" of anything or anybody? How do we "read" gender in others, and, once again, why does this matter and why do things happen this way?
- Physical sex: Is it different than gender? If so, how? How is it determined? How is "sex" given meaningfulness in the context of modern societies? And why? How does it play a part in our lives?
- Rape (and other gender violence): Why does it occur? How does American society (and other societies) deal with it? What is the history of sexual violence? Why is it both accepted (common news, unquestioned) and marginalized (treated casually)? Who is the real perpetrator in sexual crimes? Why do terms such as "gray rape" exist? Why is rape such a controversial issue in today’s media/court system/society, and yet so accepted as commonplace an occurrence?
- Reproduction: What is reproduction? What are its imperatives? How does it intersect with the social, political, economic, class, biological, and other areas of social and personal understanding? Why do people reproduce? Why do people choose not to reproduce?
- Childfree issues: Why do people choose to have children? Why do people choose not to have children? Of these two, which is the status quo, and why? What is the social response to each choice? Why are the issues surrounding a childfree lifestyle so emotionally charged for many individuals?
- Race: What is race? Why does it exist? Has it ever not existed? Can it ever not exist? Is it necessary or unnecessary to our, or any, society?
- Feminism: What is feminism generally considered to be? What is my definition of feminisim? Why is "feminism" such a charged word? Does its meaning change in different historical contexts, and, if so, why? Why do so many people who embrace "feminist" values hesitate to identify themselves as such? And, is this identification really necessary at all?
- Men's issues: Hopefully a guest blogger here. In contrast to all of the above issues, what is a man's outlook? How does the male experience compare to the female experience, from a personal, anecdotal perspective? How is it the same, how is it different, and why? What social and other influences are at work here?
- Religion: From a non-religious/religiously neutral perspective, what are the origins of "morality" as we know it? Do morality and religion exist in a void? Do they exist exclusively, or inclusively? Did social morals or religious morals come first? Does it matter? Is it possible to be moral without being religious? And, is it possible to be "non-religious" or "neutral" at all?
Beginnings
So, hello! This is my blog. I am me, and you can call me Kimberly.
Beginnings have begun, and what better place to begin than with an explanation of name?
Now, given the remarkable originality of everything on the internet, the title of this blog was going to be - in the most ironic sense of the phrase - "Original Thought". With so many individuals jockeying on the internet for a place, an outlet, a thoughtstream, Original Thought is something that is increasingly difficult to come by.
In fact, I'm apt to believe that if the internet existed back in 4th millennia BC, the inventor of the wheel probably would have done a Google search to find that wheels had already been patented by Microsoft. Then, he or she would have been very sad and gone about their mundane, disconsolate life, forever doomed to an existence lacking in originality.
The logical sub-header to this ironically-named blog would have been "It's probably already been done before." But, alas, the blog "Original Thought" has already been thought of. Case in point, no? And, after a quick read of the original Original Thought blog above, I think that the appropriate sub-header to my Original Thought blog would needfully become: "It's already been done before by someone with a much less sound grasp on the English language than you." But that's a bit of a mouthful, and I digress.
So, this blog is instead called "Yelling About Humans." And, having said all that I did with regard to Original Thought up there, this name is based on something else, of course. Specifically, it's based on this Questionable Content comic strip here.
Instead of yelling about music, I'm going to be yelling about humans. And, like a lot of those other "original thinkers" out there on the internet, I'll be jockeying for a place for my thoughtstream to be heard. That's okay, though; in the end, this is a lot less for you, and a lot more for me.
Beginnings have begun, and what better place to begin than with an explanation of name?
Now, given the remarkable originality of everything on the internet, the title of this blog was going to be - in the most ironic sense of the phrase - "Original Thought". With so many individuals jockeying on the internet for a place, an outlet, a thoughtstream, Original Thought is something that is increasingly difficult to come by.
In fact, I'm apt to believe that if the internet existed back in 4th millennia BC, the inventor of the wheel probably would have done a Google search to find that wheels had already been patented by Microsoft. Then, he or she would have been very sad and gone about their mundane, disconsolate life, forever doomed to an existence lacking in originality.
The logical sub-header to this ironically-named blog would have been "It's probably already been done before." But, alas, the blog "Original Thought" has already been thought of. Case in point, no? And, after a quick read of the original Original Thought blog above, I think that the appropriate sub-header to my Original Thought blog would needfully become: "It's already been done before by someone with a much less sound grasp on the English language than you." But that's a bit of a mouthful, and I digress.
So, this blog is instead called "Yelling About Humans." And, having said all that I did with regard to Original Thought up there, this name is based on something else, of course. Specifically, it's based on this Questionable Content comic strip here.
Instead of yelling about music, I'm going to be yelling about humans. And, like a lot of those other "original thinkers" out there on the internet, I'll be jockeying for a place for my thoughtstream to be heard. That's okay, though; in the end, this is a lot less for you, and a lot more for me.
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